Disconnection is a Way of Protection
Disconnecting from people that you love is a way of protecting yourself. It's another defense mechanism that is learnt very early in life. Sometimes people seem like they are not there. They are very cold and distant even if they are behaving "nice" or friendly... But inside they are disconnected.
Have you ever got a hug but it felt like only the hands where barely touching you? Now, it seems that they are disconnected from their loved ones or maybe from you. But in reality they disconnect from their own heart. See, if you disconnect from your own heart, then those who you care about or love, cannot hurt you ... So disconnecting from your heart is a way of protecting yourself from being hurt . The problem here is that when you do that. You are also protecting (or in this case, blocking ) yourself from BEING LOVED. Loving is risking being hurt . It is a risk . There is always a risk.
But if you don't even give yourself the chance to open and see ... then you stay the same, with your same inner fear of being hurt and not getting to know what being loved feels like... When you risk yourself to open and connect with your heart to relate with those you care about , you will win even if you get hurt. You will learn if you get hurt. You will WIN A LIFE EXPERIENCE from which you can grow. If you do not risk, then you lose the opportunity to learn and grow, and the opportunity of receiving love from those who care about you.
You simply stay the same. With the same fear in your Heart and disconnected – feeling cut off - no matter how much love and care is trying to reach you...
This defense mechanism was learnt from a very young age and then as you get older it becomes automatic.
The first step to reopen your heart for deep and real connection, is to realize this automatic reaction. Be present and aware of your behavior and your fears...
In Real Healing, everything begins with looking at yourself and examining your own behaviors, fears, repetitive thoughts...ETC.. in other words, knowing yourself.