Glass Shattered

When someone we love passes,

we often try to find comfort on: 

“They’re free now.”

“They’re not suffering anymore.”

“They’re in a better place.”

“They’re with the ones they loved.”

And maybe all of that is true.

But we are still here.

In this human, physical world.

in this timeline where they no longer exist.

And in this world,

I won’t see them again.

I won’t hold them,

or be held by them.

I won’t hear their voice

or feel the warmth of their presence beside me.

And that’s what I grieve for.

Not their freedom, but my loss. 

And maybe that’s selfish, but it’s also the truth.

Because grief isn’t about where they are now.

It’s about where we are,

without them.

Maybe one day,

when I’m more evolved, when I’m no longer human, maybe then I’ll be able to go straight to peace, straight to understanding,

straight to love without ache.

But I’m not there yet.

So for now, I let my pain take space. 

Because I thought I’d see you again.

I really did.

And when I realized I wouldn’t…

glass shattered.

-Ale.