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Forgiving my Female Body - (this poem is about making peace with the body we were born with)-

  • Evy Y. Parkinson
  • 7 days ago
  • 3 min read
Embodiment
Embodiment

Pain

Is all I could remember from when my body started to develop

Things started to change from being a child to now suddenly “you are a woman”

Your body can create life now

And then the pain and the blood

And the what is happening?

Why do I feel this way?

I feel shame and I don’t know why

Shame besides the pain, the discomfort and the blood?

And now I am hearing them say that I am a woman now?

That I can procreate?

That I am growing up

And I don’t know why I feel the way I feel

At the same time my breasts start to make their appearance and now I have to cover them

They hurt as they grow out of my chest

I love sports and running

And guess what, now every time I run

My breast hurt even though I am using something to hold them “in place”

And the resentment started

Why does this hurt?

Why do I have to have these things?

Why am I in this body?

I just want to run and play my sports freely

Now I have to bleed every month?!

With a combo of feeling moody, uncomfortable, ugly, and in pain?

 

Not understanding why…

“That is just the way it is” that is what happens …

It’s all the information I got

The resentment started to build deep in my unconscious

The rejection and even anger

How unfair is this?

It all went to the back and deep basement of my mind

Accumulating more pain as I kept growing, and then entering into a society that had very specific rules for you if you were in a female body… again, not understanding what was all about…

You simply start to adapt and then fight and resist some other things that do not sound right to you in the world we live in.  Sometimes fight, sometimes just get so exhausted from fighting an apparent lost cause...

In the meantime the biggest war was happening inside

Between my conscious mind and my accumulated unconscious pain and resentment

Until you finally get to see more and more of your inner reality. And realize your own inner fight.  The victim self trying to convince you that the universe, the world and everyone in it is just against you… That it's all a very evil universal joke.

 

The only way “out” is through…

We have to go through our shadows

We must walk that very dark cave we are so afraid of…

Light and freedom are on the other side.


I am sorry I ever blamed you

I am sorry I rejected you for so long

I am sorry I bought into social conditioning bull-sh***

I am sorry I resisted and resented you for so long without realizing it

I am sorry I did not feel and see your beauty and perfection  Just as you are.

As a perfect creation of Nature with everything is meant to be, as it is,

Perfect

Harmonious

Beautiful

With the Power of Sustenance

Allowing

Cyclical

Full of Pleasure Points

Sensitive

Soft

With the Power of Creation

Flowing

In a constant cycle of shedding,  renewal and flowering…

 

I am now with you

I am grateful to you

I love you and see your natural and simple beauty just as you are

A perfect creation from the Divine…


-E.Y.P

@evyy.parkinson (on instagram)


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