How do we Create a Healthy Partnership?
First, I want to specify, what do I mean with partnership.
A partnership can be two people or more than two people, as for example work partnerships.
The healthy partnerships I am referring to here, will be specifically for those between two people.
These two people partnerships, can be between sisters, brothers, couples, friends, family members, working partners.
A healthy partnership is one where both people know and understand that they play for the same team.
That they are team players for the same team.
Therefore, they work together with a common vision, to get the desired result. Whichever result they are looking for at the moment, or a general vision of the future.
When you know and understand that you both play for the same team. You help each other grow, and to be stronger. If there is a problem, you both work towards a solution.
You do not blame each other.
You both stand on the same side.
You do not compete with each other.
You support each other. You embrace each other.
You allow freedom and space for the other to BE Who they are, because you both know and understand that being who you are, as well as allowing the other to be who they are is what makes you stronger as a partnership.
Freedom and space to be and to grow, individually and together as partners.
Some of the most common partnerships issues that I have seen and collected from my experience as a Therapist, and personal experience are:
- Blaming each other. Taking sides...
- Taking each other for granted
- Lack of honesty in communication
(I would say this is the most important one and the most common problem). - And it is even more common and a bigger issue with men & women couples.
(I will write more about communication in another article).
When we know & understand that we play for the same team.
Then, trust is in it.
Honest communication is in it.
Appreciation for what each one brings and gives, is in it.
Respect is in it.
Listening to each other’s needs and wants is in it...
EQUAL VALUE of each other's life, thoughts, wants and needs, is also in it.
For a partnership to work in a healthy way. You need so much more than just love. And so much more than just liking someone.
Only Love is not enough when it comes to building a healthy partnership.
You can love or like someone but it doesn't mean that you can maintain a healthy partnership with that person.
For you to be in the same team. You need trust, respect and allow the other to be who they are.
Sometimes, the partnership is just not meant to work in that specific moment.
And that is when we need to accept and understand that even when/if you love someone or like someone, If you are not on the same page on what is that you both want and agree on building together, it will not flow and it will not work.
And it is not necessarily because of a lack of love or care, but because you are both in different places in your growth and individual life. And that is OK. It has nothing to do with your worth or being "good enough".
When we do not accept this and we keep trying or “making/ pushing / forcing" that partnership to work, that is when you will suffer and start creating drama in your life instead of peace, love and harmony.
That is when you will not have a healthy partnership, you will have a dysfunctional relationship where no one is becoming stronger or growing.
Quite the opposite, you will be making each other weaker and unhappy.
You will start trying (or wishing) to change the other person to make them fit into your current level of growth and vise versa.
For it to be healthy, you both need to be on the same page.
There cannot be forcing, "making it happen", pushing and controlling it however and whenever we (or our egos) want to.
A healthy partnership is like a growing plant,
It needs space to grow and breathe.
It needs watering, sun, care, love, attention, honoring, appreciation, and allowing it to be what is meant to be.