How is Your Relationship with Your Emotions?
Emotions are part of being a human. We all have the ability or capacity to feel all the range of emotions, from anger to joy.
One of the biggest problems of adults today is their inability to accept and/or cope with their emotions. This brings instability, stress, toxic relationships, depression, anxiety disorders, etc. In general, it brings unhappiness and a sense of dissatisfaction into the adult’s life.
What happens is that most adults today were raised in a society where emotions were hidden and suppressed, where some emotions are “bad” and you mustn’t show them.
Even the “good” ones you had to control, because you couldn’t be too exited or too joyful in “certain” environments, you “had to behave”.
Let’s get a perspective right here:
you were a child… you got excited about something (completely normal for a child) but you have to “control” that excitement because is not “appropriate” for the specific environment you are in that moment.
Now, yes of course, adults also need to teach children to calm down in certain occasions.
The problem is HOW you teach that child, HOW do you tell the child to calm down and HOW do you explain it to him/her.
If the child is not taught properly how to manage his/her emotions, the child will repress them or think is bad to be happy and joyful thus becoming too serious, numb or sad…
That is an example of “good” emotions.
Now, with the called “bad” emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear or disgust; they were also unacceptable!
They were BAD… thus, the child had to somehow (with his limited maturity) find out what to do with those emotions.
Those emotions did not disappear just because your parents or teacher told you to shut up, to stop or that it was unacceptable.
Those emotions were either pushed down so deeply into your subconscious, becoming repressed or you got so deeply hurt that they became anger and defensiveness while you were growing up. Either way, you repressed some of them, either the called "good" or the called "bad" emotions.
Which at the end, they are all emotions, non is “good” or “bad” , what makes them “good or bad” is HOW you use them, how you express them, how you embody them, how is your relationship with them?
Now, thanks to hypnotherapy and psychology, thanks to the study of the subconscious mind and emotions, we can see how crucial and harmful these experiences as a child were and still are to most adults.
Most adults are living their lives with unresolved childhood issues. Regressing to when they were 5, 6 or 10 yrs old whenever something happens today that triggers that past experience they had as a child, which made them feel in a certain way.
When something happens today that regresses them to that childhood experience, they will feel the same way they did when they were whatever their age was.
The problem with this is that there are “adults” out there behaving and reacting like 5, 6 or 10 yrs old when “something” happens.
You go back to that specific experience as a child – this is called regression – your mind goes back to that time and you feel the same way you did, even though you are not that age anymore.
This process is unconscious, that is why it just happens without you realizing it but you can FEEL the discomfort every time it happens…
Something happening today is a trigger for something that you felt long ago. Why?
Because you never processed the experience, because nobody taught you to accept those emotions you felt back then, you haven’t learnt how to accept all of your emotions as part of being human. You were actually taught to do the opposite. To reject them, ignore them, deny them, hide them…
If you don’t accept the emotions you feel, you are not accepting who you are completely.
When you don’t accept who you are completely then you feel incomplete, thus unsatisfied and unhappy.
The first thing someone needs to do to really overcome those unresolved childhood issues is to be honest. Leave pride and ego aside, pride does nothing but take you further from growth.
When you are honest with yourself, you can see and accept that “something is not right”, “something is happening with my emotional maturity (or lack of it), reactions, behaviors, relationships, etc… then you can bring awareness to what is going on INSIDE.
We need to Understand that ALL the emotions are part of being human, that they are part of this life experience and by rejecting or hiding some of them, we are missing out a great part of LIFE and ourselves.
Copyright ©2023 by Evy Y. Parkinson