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Voices in My Head

It is not multiple personality disorder what I am going to talk about. It is the different roles we have created in our minds from a long time ago.

They come in and play when you have no other way to deal with a situation. Most of them were created when we were very young and growing up.

They have been created to protect us. Their intention is to help. At some point/s when you were very young, you needed to develop certain coping mechanisms to be able to "survive in the world". Thus you needed to create certain protective behaviors.

The problem is that once you are an adult, this “help” becomes destructive instead of constructive because you do not need the same "protection" as when you were a child.

As they were created for a reason in the past, they have been there for a long time. They become part of your personality, but they are not YOU, and that is the main problem.

For you to be the authentic YOU, you must heal and let go of these different parts that play out every day in your life without you even knowing.

Each person will have specific parts that were created depending on their personal experience. It is a fascinating discovery for those in the road of self-knowledge and personal growth. I have met many people who asked me about it because of how interesting it is, “how does it work?”

What happens when we find out about the parts?

In therapy, the main idea and intention is to integrate these parts by first of all understanding them and educating them into what it is that we want to be and who we are today. Letting them understand that we want to approach life and situations in a healthier and better way than in the past. We want to help ourselves in a constructive and kinder way.

This is done with patience and understanding. No parts can be sent away or destroyed. They are part of your creation and you now need to transform them into a positive support.

You can identify the parts by using Hypnotherapy or by being self-aware and present as much as possible. By being conscious enough and OBSERVING YOURSELF to catch your behavior patterns and the way you “always react” to specific situations in your daily life, you can choose the behavior instead of reacting automatically.

This is done with PRACTICE. Self-knowledge, being present, being conscious and real change takes practice, patience and consistency. However, it won’t be so hard if you bring acceptance and love to the process.

Although the number of parts and what kind of parts you have created are different for each individual. There are some main characters that are common in all minds. By having these examples, you can get a better idea and identify the parts in yourself.

Main Characters:

The Judge:

It also may be called the critic or the parent figure.

This part is the one criticizing what you do or don’t do. How you do it. What you say and how you say it. It is the one telling you how you SHOULD be.

It is rigid, serious and most of the times, nothing is good enough for it.

The Judge is generally created from authority figures we had growing up, such as: parents, priests, police, doctors etc.

All you have to do is to pay attention to how you talk to yourself and how you “punish” yourself in many different ways. Observe it and stop identifying yourself with it.

Realize, how “helpful” is it really being? How is it helping you to be and feel better or happier?

The Child:

It is the emotional self. Usually formed by emotions that we didn't processed as children, and this part stays trapped somewhere feeling sad, lonely, rejected, abandoned or resentful.

In another example, the child may be attached to a time of playing and not having responsibilities, all it wants to do is to play. It resists growing up or being responsible for her/him self.

When this part is well taken care of and healed, your whole life and Emotional Intelligence grows and improves. When this happens we can say that we have a healthy inner-child. When we heal and embrace our inner-child, we become healthier and more integrated adults.

A healthy adult should have a harmonious relationship with her/his inner-child. As the healthy inner-child will be the one bringing joy, playfulness, creativity and innocence... among many other things.

The Victim:

It feels sorry for itself, helpless and powerless, has no power to choose for itself.

This part is the one that feels as if the world and everyone around owe them something. It feels as if it depends on what happens "out there", and blames others and everything else for whatever happens in their life and for however they feel.

As you pay attention to these feelings, behaviors and reactions in your daily life, you can start dis-identifying yourself from those parts. Understanding they were created to protect you and to “deal” with the world around you at some point in your life. They were needed in the past.

There are much deeper layers to discover in yourself. This is just a starter, and something to get you closer to who you really are by knowing what you are NOT and letting go of parts that no longer serve you.

Copyright ©2015 by Evy Y. Parkinson

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