This is a gentle reminder that you already are a complete individual. You were born complete.
You were born with a whole heart, a whole brain, a whole body and with your own self-awareness. Even if you were born with a medical condition, you are complete just as you are. You are a whole individual with female and male energies, with left and right brain hemispheres.
Society, media, soap operas and even Walt Disney stories have conditioned us to believe that you need another person or “something found out there” to be complete and happy…
Does this mean that I am half of a person? That I have half of a brain? That as long as I don’t have that other person or “thing” I am incomplete?
The consequences of these beliefs (deeply rooted in the subconscious mind), are that many people out there are living their lives feeling incomplete, unhappy and unfulfilled - even after they find “that other person” or “thing” -. Why? Because the problem is not that they don’t have those things. The problem is the belief of being incomplete.
The unhappiness and unfulfilled feelings will not be solved by having "X" amount of stuff or having “that other special one” in your life. The real root of it is the fear of being alone.
The fear of being alone is directly related to the belief of being incomplete. When you feel incomplete, you think you need to fill up a space, and that space will be filled by someone else or something else – sometimes taking the form of food, stuff, money, cigarettes, alcohol etc. –
That space can only be filled by you, because it is in you.
For you to fill up that space, you need to love and accept yourself completely just as you are, with positives and negatives, with flaws and strengths and enjoy your own company (whether you have a person next to you or not).
If you do not want to be alone, ask yourself why? What is it so scary about being with yourself alone? If you are a beautiful person and you love yourself, why wouldn’t you want to spend time with yourself alone and enjoy it?
The difference between having the attitude of “not wanting to be alone”, and “being ok and happy with yourself while you are alone”, is that the first reality makes you feel like you “need” someone else (or something) to be happy and complete – so you are constantly needing someone or something from outside to make you feel complete, fulfilled and happy, which brings the feeling of anxiety –
If you meet someone else in this state of consciousness you become two halves of a person making one. Unconsciously you are in a state of constant need for the other one to fill up that emptiness within and is never going to happen.
In the other reality you have the freedom of choosing to share your completeness and happiness with another complete and happy person. In this way two whole individuals combine to share different experiences and challenges from a giving place rather than a needing place.
Whether you are with someone next to you or not, you have the choice and the power to fill up whatever emptiness you feel inside. You and only you can fill up that empty feeling within and it can only be filled with self-love, self-kindness and self-acceptance. When you fill up that space you simply overflow with love for others.
*Find this & some others of Evy's articles in FinerMinds.com
Copyright © Evy Y. Parkinson 2013-2016.